I'm Just Tired

I Hate Hearing It

How can you look at me the way you do
and not possibly think " I love you"

How can you hold me that tight
and not wonder, what if ? maybe? might?

How can you take me out to sea
and still say "you're not meant for me?"

How are there no feelings there
when you do so much to show you care?

How can you ask me if I want to stay
but tell me "I don't feel that way."

I just don't get it, I don't understand
why don't you want to hold my hand?

I make you laugh, you make me smile
why don't you stick around a while?

Take it slow, see where it goes
maybe we will get on the same road

but No! You don't like me!
You're my brother, just family!

and I have to realize that!
What about you mister welcome mat?

Obviously there's a problem here
I don't think you're thinking clear!

Look at other relationships!
What's the difference in our friendship?

I think you just need to realize
that you're telling yourself a bunch of lies!





Not Mad, Just Hurt

You piss me off like no other
You say you don't but you still love her
You looked at me that way
and held me close and would say
the same damn things
Yet you didn't love me
How could that be?

I want to be furious
and make you feel bad for making me curious
of what could possibly become
a great story of true love

But when I see you I cant help but smile
You make my heart stop for a while
The way you talk and make me laugh
I completely forget about my past

Why do I do this?
Fall in love with people who are clueless
and don't realize that I'm easily hurt
I wont tell you 'cus I don't think its worth
You seeing that I'm not that strong

But this has gone on way too long
I don't want to say it but
                     ...
             
I'm in love with someone who faked it

I'm Choosing God

I act like I got it all figured out
Like I know exactly what I am doing.
I am righteous, holy and pure without
your help, I can do it myself.

I trust my own guidance and desires
my own heart, my own flesh.
I don't trust anyone else
even those who know best.

I am the crowd,
the ones in front of the cross ,
not the ones crying
but the one's who are lost.

I spit on the face of Jesus
I am the worst of these
In my own weakness
I give the devil the keys.

I let him in
I follow the world
I do what I want
but I need the Lord.

I need him desperately
I can't do it by myself
I need his forgiveness
not the love of someone else.

Trust in the Lord
chapter 3 verse 5
I know it like the back  of my hand
but can't seem to comply

Get over your pride
Let go of your selfishness
but all that aside,
Stop your rebellion

Focus on the Lord
the one who has your best interest in mind
get away from the world
its destroying you inside

Choose the straight and narrow
Be that wife and student leader,
the one you know  you're called to be.

I am owning up for my actions
I am determined
to do what I need to
to get back in God's will

I am giving this one to God
because only he knows
I've tried
but I'm no where close

God take it from my hands
help me to fulfill
what you have planned for me
your good and perfect will.

You are You

Don't let people treat you less than you deserve
Even when they're some of your closest friends
As strong as you think you are
Really its okay, you don't need to hold it in


Broken? Yes but you don't have to stay that way
Realize that you're beautiful in your own special way
Insecurities are normal but don't let them control you
Tomorrow is a new day, so don't be bitter toward those who
Took your smile away, stepped on, crushed and left you broken
An incredible person you are so don't let words spoken
Navigate the direction you decide to choose
You are you, not others reviews

Coffee Makes Me Think

I hate that feeling
Not knowing what I'm doing
Its possible I can break his heart
or even tear mine apart
But my flesh is bigger than it should be
and ill only see what I want to see
a part of me wants wild and free
but yet I still want clarity
What do you do
when you know what's right
and what not to do
but you're selfish and just want to do you
even when you know the truth
I've never had right feel wrong,
or ever had feelings so strong
to do something that's nice in the moment
but makes you feel completely broken
This is killing me,
my mind really hurts.
What do I do so I don't make it worse?

Beautiful Mess

The time I spend with you I treasure
Your smile I hold dear
Your laugh brightens my day
that's why I need you here

Your arms hold me tight
You care about my thoughts
You make sure I'm okay
and hug me if I'm not

He loves me not, he loves me
Is what I seem to ponder
Is it possible? Could it be?
Does he even wonder?

What a beautiful mess this is
there's nothing else I'd rather do
don't stop driving me crazy
I just want to be with you

In the Making

Those two words "I'm fine"
cover up all feelings inside.
They stop all questions
and block out suggestions.
You start to believe it,
that you're truly fine
and can dismiss the harsh decline.
You fool yourself
and think you can move on.
You tell yourself that you are strong.
You're still in my head,
the feelings aren't dead.
Why am I like this?
Why can't I fight this?
Why do I still hope?
Why can't I just cope
with the fact that it wont happen.
But its so hard to imagine
someone who can take my affection
and still have our type of connection.
God I'm praying for the right one
but my heart is still undone.
Help me Lord to hold tight
and trust you have the right
one for me waiting,
standing firm and constantly praying
for a beautiful wife ... who's in the making

Summer Thing

Every summer has a story
of fun, romance and a journey.
It leaves sand in your hair
and memories in your heart
and you meet people who become a huge part
as if they were there from the start.

From turtles on beaches
to late night kisses
thinking about it makes me sick
because the butterflies just wont sit

What movie are we watching? I don't even know.
I'm lost in your blue eyes that show
all the times your hearts been broken
I wish I can make those words unspoken

You care so much, I know you do
and I think I feel the same way too
I hope that this thing will continue to last
and it's not just a summer thing that'll pass

but either way, I have to say
Summer '14, you've been good to me