Where I Find You

God your presence is so great
Oh how the wind whispers your name
Nothing can compare
Even the birds want to sing

Father my love for you grows and
I'll continue on
Singing my hearts song
Holding on to your peace because
In a single moment
Nothing can compare
God, your presence is here

I Believe

I believe in unconditional love.
In loving your enemies,
In loving the liars,
The cheaters,
The neglected,
The cutters, the gays and the abused.
I believe in doing the right thing.
I believe in doing what's least expected of me.
I believe in making a difference.
Being an example, a light, and a leader
and mostly I believe in loving others,
the way Christ first loved me.

A Girl In A Ball Cap

Her heart was big
the kind of big that's painful.
She'd love those
who'd break and abuse her.
She didn't know her worth,
so she was okay with that,
till one day when
she was given an old ball cap.

She had three brothers.
She would play
their kind of games
their kind of way.
She'd wrestle and fight
and make them proud
cus the girl they wanted
was coming around.

She lost herself and the girl she knew
but she loved her brothers
and the thing they'd do.
They were all so special
but they did things differently,
but she loved each one
cus each one was family.

They made her wear that old ball cap,
put her hair up and hide her face
cus they desperately needed someone
to play second base.

They made her wear that old ball cap
and gave her a beer
and said "Thanks we needed ya"
so here's a cheer.
"To the one who's always there
and helps us in our rut,
who will do anything just to be with us
so here's to the one in the old ball cap
you've done us good,
you got us on track "

But little did they know,
she ran away.
She's heard it too much
that's all they'd ever say.

She's always there
if they need help,
but no one's there to hear her yell.
She screams at the sky
and continues to cry
because she hates that ball cap
and knows her brothers
don't even care where she's at.

But the hardest part is not going back
and putting on that old ball cap
because she still loves them,
they're still her brothers
but her heart knows
she deserves much better.

Deep End

I miss you
and the ship that sank that night
I miss your lips
and the moon that shined so bright
I miss your eyes
and the way you held me tight
I miss you
and the ship that sank that night

I saw it coming
It was going down
but I refused to except it
while you twirled me around

We danced that night
under the stars
you kissed my heart
where others left scars

You waltzed me to the edge
with your gentle words
as you said
hold your breath

I miss you
and the ship that sank that night

False Silhouette

Have you ever made a choice
you cant undo?
Have you ever done something
that wasn't you?
Do you wish you can rewind
and go back in time?

Stop yourself right there,
when you think its harmless,
when you think it can't hurt,
when life seams timeless.

Show yourself the pain you'll go through,
tell yourself those thoughts are untrue.

Its not worth it, its all a lie
the devil is always going to try
to take down his biggest threat
but you believed the silhouette.

How could that be untrue
to me, it just fells good
Its normal, its right, there's no need to fight
there's nothing bad in sight.

You fool, its a  trap!
You walked right into it and cant go back.
Well you fell too far, there's no hope,
so give up now and don't look up.

Dig deeper, make it worse
don't tell anyone, its an ugly curse.
You cant do anything now
just fool everyone and take a bow.

You've become like me,
a liar, a thief.
I take pride in what you can't see.

You now live in hell
and I wont let you breathe.

Wait, what's happening?
This isn't me.
I know better
Why can't I see?

God are you there?
I'm tired and scared.
I made a bad compromise
and now I only hear lies.

Please save me?
I'm just slowly killing myself
I know I don't deserve it,
I know I'm not worth it
because I believed the liar himself.

I'm Just Tired

I Hate Hearing It

How can you look at me the way you do
and not possibly think " I love you"

How can you hold me that tight
and not wonder, what if ? maybe? might?

How can you take me out to sea
and still say "you're not meant for me?"

How are there no feelings there
when you do so much to show you care?

How can you ask me if I want to stay
but tell me "I don't feel that way."

I just don't get it, I don't understand
why don't you want to hold my hand?

I make you laugh, you make me smile
why don't you stick around a while?

Take it slow, see where it goes
maybe we will get on the same road

but No! You don't like me!
You're my brother, just family!

and I have to realize that!
What about you mister welcome mat?

Obviously there's a problem here
I don't think you're thinking clear!

Look at other relationships!
What's the difference in our friendship?

I think you just need to realize
that you're telling yourself a bunch of lies!





Not Mad, Just Hurt

You piss me off like no other
You say you don't but you still love her
You looked at me that way
and held me close and would say
the same damn things
Yet you didn't love me
How could that be?

I want to be furious
and make you feel bad for making me curious
of what could possibly become
a great story of true love

But when I see you I cant help but smile
You make my heart stop for a while
The way you talk and make me laugh
I completely forget about my past

Why do I do this?
Fall in love with people who are clueless
and don't realize that I'm easily hurt
I wont tell you 'cus I don't think its worth
You seeing that I'm not that strong

But this has gone on way too long
I don't want to say it but
                     ...
             
I'm in love with someone who faked it

I'm Choosing God

I act like I got it all figured out
Like I know exactly what I am doing.
I am righteous, holy and pure without
your help, I can do it myself.

I trust my own guidance and desires
my own heart, my own flesh.
I don't trust anyone else
even those who know best.

I am the crowd,
the ones in front of the cross ,
not the ones crying
but the one's who are lost.

I spit on the face of Jesus
I am the worst of these
In my own weakness
I give the devil the keys.

I let him in
I follow the world
I do what I want
but I need the Lord.

I need him desperately
I can't do it by myself
I need his forgiveness
not the love of someone else.

Trust in the Lord
chapter 3 verse 5
I know it like the back  of my hand
but can't seem to comply

Get over your pride
Let go of your selfishness
but all that aside,
Stop your rebellion

Focus on the Lord
the one who has your best interest in mind
get away from the world
its destroying you inside

Choose the straight and narrow
Be that wife and student leader,
the one you know  you're called to be.

I am owning up for my actions
I am determined
to do what I need to
to get back in God's will

I am giving this one to God
because only he knows
I've tried
but I'm no where close

God take it from my hands
help me to fulfill
what you have planned for me
your good and perfect will.